Senator Bill Frist, R-Big Pharma

When they make the Bill Frist biopic, it's got to be called Disgrace Under Pressure.   ( Either that or Silence of the Kitties , given his med-school penchant for adopting shelter kitties and then dissecting them for "science").   

Lessons Learned At Harvard Medical School, by Dr. Bill Frist:

•  Intelligent design should be taught alongside evolution . Therefore, we presume that as a cardiothoracic surgeon he can show you just where God reached in and took Adam's rib to make Eve.

•  HIV could possibly be transmitted through tears and sweat.

•  You can tell a lot about a person's brain function by watching her on a home video.   When the Creator wanted him to diagnose Terri Schiavo via videotape, Dr. Frist had no problem going to the Senate floor and saying she was looking sharp to him:

I question it based on a review of the video footage which I Spent an hour or so looking at last night in my office.   She certainly seems to respond to visual stimuli.

Right. You know, Doc, the Mona Lisa seems to follow you with her eyes, too, but that doesn't mean she can see you.

"It's amazing that so many kids turn out to be fairly normal, considering the weird socialization they get in public schools."
---Rick Santorum, Senator, author of It Takes a Family and probable public school wedgie victim

"I don't think people understand quite what motivates political giving anyway. Believe it or not, the main thing that motivates it is friendships"
---Rep John Doolittle, on taking money from Jack Abramoff

"Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes."
---Tom DeLay

"The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes."
---Senator Ted Stevens

"Nobody likes beheadings."
---George w. Bush

Governor of Arkansas, 1996-present
R- The Zone
Career Highlight: Lost 105 pounds
Career Lowlight: Convict he helped to get released from prison kills a young woman
Nickname: Dukakis
Admits to: Food addicition
Denies: He got that rapist paroled just to piss off the Clintons
Theme Song: “Hungry Like The Wolf”

Mike was a Baptist minister before running for lieutenant governor. He says he's never sipped a beer, and that his body belongs to the Lord. We pray the Lord doesn't mind stretch marks.